Welcome...

...to my new blog. Is your heart beating faster than normal? Is your mouth drying up? Are your trousers starting to bulge? Well, then yes, you are at the right place.

Who am I? Well, I am the person who is now in charge of your wallet. I am not only in charge of your wallet, I am in charge of your whole life. I will be telling you what to buy (or rather what not to buy, you can, of course, only afford to buy ME things from now on hahaha), where to shop, what to eat and when to speak. Got that?

Have you heard of the credit crunch? Yes? Well, it's just about to get even harder for you. Aww and with Christmas coming and all that - what a shame, little piggy.

Now I want you to make a good start and a nice first impression by making a tribute to ME. Yes, that's right, a tribute and I WANT IT NOW. Not when you get paid, not when you can afford it - N.O.W

Go to the bank, withdraw $100 cash and put that in an envelope. Contact me at Mistress.Luxury@yahoo.co.uk and you will recieve details of where to send it. Do not even think about wasting my precious time, contact me before that and you will live to regret it. Promise.

Thats good for starters... GO ON GET TO IT!